Year One

Self-Comparison

via Pressfield:

The amateur is a narcissist. He views the world hierarchically. He continuously rates himself in relation to others, becoming self-inflated if his fortunes rise, and desperately anxious if his star should fall.

How often do you rate yourself compared to others?

I do it. It’s hard not to. You see where you’re at in life and look at your friends and maybe they’re ahead of you. How does that make you feel? It makes me feel like crap. 

I feel this way because I’ve, yet again, caught myself overflowing with envy and want. While not necessarily bad, when misguided, it can lead to poor relationships or no relationships at all. It’s impossible to have genuine contact with someone you wish you were more like. You can’t just be their friend, colleague, etc., without thinking about how much better they are than you at X. 

The key isn’t to think that you want to be like them. The key is to want to do the cool things they do, too. Use that relationship to your advantage! Have them mentor you. Teach you. Make use of the personal contact you have and reach that level you were so envious about.

Discussion

3 responses to ‘Self-Comparison

  1. We rate ourselves compared to others because from the time we start kindergarten that is what is being done to us. In school they call tests — SATs, Partnership for Assessment for Readiness of College and Careers (PARCC) tests, etc. At the office they call them Performance Based Assessment (PBA) or performance appraisals and peer review.

    In other words it’s absorb to blame someone for self-compariosn while his/her entire life up to adulthood has been based on comparison to others.

    Give yourself a break.

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