(Partial) Yearly Review of the Super Bowl Ads

This is my second season of giving brief reviews of Super Bowl ads. Last year I picked out only ones I liked. This year, I’m going through them all and giving them a rating out of 10 points and why. Here we go…

Note:* I gave up on this post about half-way through because the ads were overall pretty boring and I was falling asleep. The next day, I didn’t have any desire to continue, but in the back of my mind I still wanted to post this since I did put some time into it. What you see here is as far as it’ll go.*

Hyundai Genesis with Kevin Hart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R_483zeVF8

I can see myself being like this if I had a teenage daughter. The only thing that bothered me about this commercial was that it seemed like Hyundai is admitting this is all the feature is good for. I’m sure it’ll be widely used in this fashion, but at least someone has to have genuinely forgotten where they parked, right?

Score: 7/10

Michelob ULTRA: Breathe

The last thing you want to do after working out is drink a beer. If anyone was going to drink a beer after a workout, though, it wouldn’t be this.

**Score: **2/10

Snickers with William Defoe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhfntLl6xx0

Always cool to see William Defoe. Seeing him in a dress? Amusing. The top comment on this video as of this post:

Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 11.19.02 PM

Score: 7/10

Comment: 10/10

SoFi: Great

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-CP8BEKUgI

Gr8?

Score: 3/10

Avocados From Mexico: #AvosInSpace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ndPEQCoSzk

“They had Chia Pets, just like we do.” Enough said. Will someone think of Scott Baio?

**Score: **8.5/10

Hyundai: The Chase

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT6n1HcJOio

“It’s my cheat day.” Good, because this commercial was crap. No one’s going to take their basic sedan into the woods, let alone try to re-enact The Revenant.

**Score: **4/10

Apartments.com: #MovinOnUp

Jeff Goldblum with a choir? Ok. Weezy? No. And yes, beans will burn on the grill…

Score: 6/10

Mobile Strike: Arnold’s Fight

We’re seriously still paying attention to this game? Time for a new one. But since we have some terminator touches, I’ll give it a pass.

Score: 6/10

PayPal: New Money

A company sort-of owned by old money that charges lots of fees like old money, has old-money-quality customer service, an old-money-style hard-to-navigate website, all while advertising how they’re new money.

**Score: **5/10

Audi R8: Commander

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diU_09jb4bI

Neil Armstrong. Check. Audi R8. Check. Space? Check. Emotions? Check. Good one, Audi.

Score: 9/10

Mountain Dew Kickstart: #Puppymonkeybaby

Fck you, Mountain Dew, Fck you. Puppymonkeybaby.

Score: 9/10

Marmot

“I’m not that kind of marmot.” You say that now…

Score: 6/10

Squarespace: Real Talk with Key and Peele

Alright. Points for Key and Peele. Points for Squarespace.

Score: 7/10

Shock Top: Unfiltered Talk with T.J. Miller

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDDfEIq9kI4

“I got a movie idea: this loser walks into a bar… it’s called right now.”

Truer words…

Score: 6.5/10

Buick: The Big Day: Buick Cascada

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYyWq_Vads8

They call it “Cuh-skad-uh” in the commercial, but everyone will be calling it “Cascade-uh” in a week. Minus points for the crappy name.

Score: 3/10

Dollar Shave Club: Zeke

Heh. Too true.

Score: 8/10

Acura NSX

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfsZ9tXnv5M

Yes, please. Bonus points of Steven Tyler goes on the test drive with me.

**Score: **9/10 (10/10 for Steven Tyler on the test drive)

Quicken Loans: Rocket Mortgage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlRm6Y5iVfw

What if we decided to get unstuck from 1986? Whoa.

**Score: **4/10

Bud Light: The Bud Light Party

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JohgwbpQuy8

Everybody does not love Paul Rudd…. oh I see what you did there. Quoting Independence Day tends to inspire people.

Score: 8/10

Skittles: The Portrait

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21ivbtgqJkg

More Steven Tyler… nothing wrong with that.

**Score: **6/10

T-Mobile: Drop the Balls

There’s a puberty joke here, somewhere. We get it, T-Mobile, you want attention, too.

Score: 5/10

Hyundai: Ryanville

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih4VYnbm6Sw

He wasn’t Deadpool at any point. Minus points.

Score: 4/10

Coca-Cola: Coke Mini

Just meh. I don’t have anything else to say.

Score: 5/10

WeatherTech: Resources

So… do you want an award, or something? Translated: American workers are better than every other kind of worker.

**Score: **5/10

Toyota: The Longest Chase

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYeM-8hO3hM

Nice and slow. Would have been useful chasing that Bronco way back when. Points form making it look sick.

Score: 7/10

Subaru: Dog Tested

If you’re looking to get hit in the feels, this one will do it.

Score: 8/10

Amazon Echo: Baldwin Bowl

Sick burn.

Score: 9/10

Jeep: Portraits

Another feels commercial, sorta.

Score: 7/10

Doritos: Dogs

Doritos is on point, yet again.

**Score: **9/10

KFC: Dream

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C29yrzFYF4Q

Jim Gaffigan is a natural choice.

Score: 7/10

Turbotax: Anthony Hopkins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6T3F69oK30

Tony is always entertaining to watch.

Score: 8/10


My Favorite Super Bowl Commercials

When my favorite team (Seattle Seahawks) isn’t playing in the Super Bowl, I’ll still watch for the commercials. I enjoy an ad that tells a story, or makes me feel something. I won’t likely buy anything that ad was selling, but I don’t think it’s always about that. These multi-million dollar spots aren’t about selling stuff, they’re about creating a memory; if executed properly, you’ll remember that commercial for weeks, to come… something they can’t say about tv commercials every other day of the year.

Here’s a rundown of my favorites and why. Be warned: the list is long (I have many favorites) and there is a lot of feels… a lot of feels.

Dodge – Wisdom

https://youtube.com/watch?v=JKKlqMs19tU

This is one of those ads that makes me stand up and clap. See, Dodge makes cars. They make cars that go fast. They also make cars that are stupid fast. They’re going through their 100 year anniversary. What better way to show off their fleet of ass kickers than to find 100 year old ass kickers to put you in your place! Grandpa doesn’t want you to be a little bitch. Rock on, grandpa. Rock on.

Bud Light – Real Life PacMan

https://youtube.com/watch?v=g9A1NowrnGI

Anheuser-Busch steps up their game yet again with another bro who’s literally, #UpForWhatever. I’m sure some of this was scripted, but who cares. That looks like a party I’d want to go to. I might… just might… drink *one *Bud Light.

Skittles – Settle It

https://youtube.com/watch?v=JDwRN2GBUj8

Part of me thinks those beefed up right arms aren’t for arm wrestling. Kinda weird.

NFL – Together, We Make Football

Yeah we do. This basically sums up those tense, last-minute moments. Not super intense but pretty truthful, overall.

Doritos – When Pigs Fly

You know Doritos would step it up again this year. They can’t not. They’ll stop making cool ads when pigs fly. Oh wait… crap.

Budweiser – Lost Dog

https://youtube.com/watch?v=xAsjRRMMg_Q

Leave it to Anheuser-Busch take the crown for the feels award. They know lost puppies pull heart strings. They know how to pull them good, too. No, I’m not crying… I just got some Doritos in my eye.

Coca-Cola – #MakeItHappy

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ibgvkXm9Qkc

Coca-Cola gets a feels award, too, for this ad. In a world where we’re hating on each other day in and day out because hiding behind a computer screen on the Internet and trashing someone’s life makes you powerful. Pro tip: you look like an idiot. Good job, Coca-Cola for trying to remind people that hate doesn’t belong on the Internet, or really anywhere for that matter.

Dove – #RealStrength | Men+Care

You’re not tired of the feels, yet, are you? Good. Dove knows that staying fresh and clean is important to raising children and being a good role model for them. I don’t have kids, but I can imagine it’d be hard to do so with a lingering stink.

Always – #LikeAGirl

The feels train is barreling into the station. Always makes a great point that girls in our society are at their lowest regrind their self-esteem. It’s no wonder so many turn out like they do.

Jeep – Beautiful Lands | Jeep Renegade

https://youtube.com/watch?v=j7LbPdzYrrE

This is one of my favorite, for sure. It’s likely in my top three, now that I think about it. It’s long at 1:31, but it’s real. As someone who loves exploring and photographing nature and the world around me, I gravitate towards stuff like this. This is one of the few commercials in this list that makes me want to buy something like what they’re selling.

Clash of Clans – Revenge

I about died watching this. Liam Neeson is amazing and executes his Taken character so well. Loads of Internet points for this one.

Carnival Corporation – Come Back to the Sea

I’ve never been on a Carnival cruise, but I really appreciate this spot. The lack of sound effects and listening to the speech along with powerful and sweeping images of cool places and things Carnival supposedly lets you do makes me appreciate it as a presentation more than an advertisement.

EAT24

Are you hangry and inexplicably upset about your pants? Get EAT24. The best motherf*cking way to order food online, baby. This wasn’t an ad that was aired in my market, but I wish it was. I love Gilbert Godfried.

Kia – The Perfect Getaway

Explosions. Drama. Pierce Brosnan. I need not say more.

Loctite – Positive Feelings

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ha4k71AQqgA

I literally can’t even. Just watch it.

Toyota – My Bold Dad

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1AB8zA7YOtw

Our break from the feels is over. Dad definitely was a theme across several of these commercials this year. There’s nothing wrong with that, at all. Here’s a few more feels.

No More

I’ll admit, I’ve been making jokes about the feels, but this one is no laughing matter. Yes, it’s heart-wrenching for some, but it damn well should be. Domestic violence is a real thing. Don’t pretend it’s not. Seriously.

Nissan – With Dad

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Bd1qCi5nSKw

The last of the dad-themed spots in my list. Nissan knows how to advertise their fleet and give a few feels at the same time. It had everyone in my party watching, even though we weren’t entirely sure what it was about at first…. but those feels…

Chevrolet

https://youtube.com/watch?v=hHS426cnNBA

This last one had my butt puckering for a bit. With a decent sized gathering at my house to watch the game, the last thing I wanted was for Comcast to start trolling and cut my service. This commercial made me think my worst nightmare came true. Good job, Chevrolet, I’ll give you points for that… just don’t do it again.


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