Craftier Than I Realized

I was looking back and some old posts earlier this morning, and came across one talking about the iPhone or some such.

There was a specific line (and corresponding photo) that I included which amused me more than it should have. At the time, I don’t know if I found it all that funny, but now… I really did lol.

What did I say that was so hillarious?

You can tell a lot about a time period by whether you have a cat that’s willing to loiter around artillery.

Tell me that’s not comedy gold.

Ok fine, it’s not.

Whatever.

I don’t need your opinion anyway.

I can write good.

Ish.

The moral of this lame story is this: when you don’t specifically try to be entertaining… that’s when you’re entertaining.


Hunting the Hunter: Trying to Take a Photo of my Cat

I tried something interesting, yesterday. Every once in a while, I find the urge to pull out my camera and shoot stuff at home. It doesn’t happen very often, and for good reason. My space is outside, where things don’t move, where all I have to worry about is what time the sun sets, and how cold my fingers will end up at the end. The outdoors is peaceful. Nature doesn’t have a schedule and it largely sticks around for as long as it deems necessary. There are great places to hike, camp, and smell the roses, if there are any.

Bringing it back into reality, however, my home isn’t anything like that.

Have you ever tried taking a photo of you cat?

I did, and it wasn’t easy. It took a bit of thinking, stealth maneuvering, and patience. See, cats are these interesting creatures that do whatever the heck they want, when they want. They’re the part of nature that waits for no one, and if you miss out, that sucks for you. It’s interesting to see the juxtaposition of an animal that’s an extension of our larger feline friends in the wild, so free-spirited, and they end up pooping in some baking-soda-covered clay chunks, and they’re totally ok with it.

Maybe your cat’s chill. Good for you. Maybe you don’t own a cat and think I’m totally whack even talking about it, not long after talking about my cat being in a box. You might be wondering if I’ve run out of ideas of things to write about. All of those thoughts are valid and I understand your concern. I’m not crazy, though. Never the crazy cat person, will I be.

Oh, and you might be wondering if I ever got that photo?

No.

Cat 1. Human 0.


There Are Some Things Money Can't Buy--For Everything Else, There's a Cat in a Box.

Sometimes I wonder about cats. Who invented them? Why are they here? Are those whiskers really just antennae they use to communicate with their alien space ships? All these things are valid questions if you are like me, because obviously my brain isn’t stimulated enough as it is. Of all cat-related questions out there, the one that keeps me the most interested and stumped is: what’s with the boxlust?

Yes, that’s a word I just came up with. Boxlust. Noun. The unreasonable and indescribable urge to be in, on, or around boxes as much as possible, for particular reason. I’ve witnessed my cat enjoy cardboard boxes like none other. Even as a kid, I enjoyed boxes, but not to the extent my feline friend does.

So that got me wondering: perhaps someone’s looked into this already! I look to the ever trusting Internet to find out the who, what, where, why, and how of cats and their desires for cardboard containers with eight right-angled corners.

The first thing I came up with was a quote from Stephen Zawistowski from the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty of Animals (ASPCA). He said “Cats like boxes because they are cryptic animals; they like to hide…[it] gives them a place of safety and security.” That explains a lot. When my cat enters his corrugated fortress, I’ll find he’s dug a mote around his encampment and at some point in the day found alligators to fill it. I’m still trying to figure out where he was able to procure alligators, as I can’t even seem to procure the right kind of accessories for my Playstation 4 on Amazon.

Live Science tells us that seeking out confined spaces is an instinctual behavior for cats. That makes sense, just like it’s an instinctual behavior for me to seek out a couch to veg on all weekend, every weekend. It’s a fire that burns deep in my core, and I suspect my cat lusts after the four-walled brown structure of an Amazon.com shipping box like a heroin addict lusts after crank: with the burning intensity of a thousand suns.

Although this all sounds like good information, I wasn’t satisfied with such normal and structured answers, so I took to reddit because why not? if the Internet has something to say about something, they’ll be saying it on reddit. Reddit User OookOok says it has something to do with trees, wood pulp, and the similarity. I’m trying to think of what wild cat fits inside a tree and can’t seem to come up with anything. Oh well, perhaps I’m missing a crucial demographic of the wild cat species: the one that’s like my house cat but somehow feral or wild? I didn’t know that was such a thing.

But then I got to thinking: in my obviously non-scientific accidental experiments, our cat seems to enjoy sitting on paper more than anything else. If my cat knew how to pay the child came “Hot Lava,” he’s a freaking expert. I feel like if my carpet ever became poisonous, he’d survive longer than I would. Perhaps he’s giving his kitty stamp of approval?

Whatever the reason is, I find it incredibly amusing. I’ve given up on buying cat trees, beds, houses, or other expensive toys. He’s resorted to several $1 rattling mice, pens, and paper products. I really should see if Staples is selling cat toys now. I feel like they’d have a great new product line and niche covered in a heartbeat. Either that or just get him a job with UPS. All those boxes? Yeah, he’d dig that.


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